Before we get into how to persuade your child (or children) to do what you want, we need to quickly address the elephant I've just plonked into the room -
Persuasion is not manipulation, it is not unethical and it is not about turning your children into robots.
Persuasion is supporting your child to make a decision which is going to be beneficial for them in the long term.
For example; persuading your child to embed the green cross code is a good thing for any parent or caregiver to do. However, persuading your child to laugh every time someone falls over is probably not something I'd recommend...
Most parents actively persuade their children every single day, we just tend not to call it persuasion because that drums up a whole host of negative connotations.
Anyways, back to the point at hand, how do you persuade your child to do what you want/need?
Going head to head with your child over something never works.
In fact, going head to head with an adult never works and if you want proof just look at the whole Brexit debacle!
But, by utilising the art of drip-feeding you can get your point across in small bite-sized chunks and gradually convince them that it was their idea.
Again, this is not unethical this is what most parents do on a daily basis.
You've probably convinced your toddler getting dressed is a great idea by making it fun or your teenager that they need to go to school to give themselves a leg up in the world.
It's also, something the media and big companies do very, very well - & we've all been suckered into buying things we didn't want or becoming outraged at something we've read, even if it has no direct impact on our lives.
The problem is, that when it comes time to help our children make a decision which we know is right and they do not agree, we forget this little tactic.
So how can you actually use this to help your child?
First, you need to know the subject inside and out. The basis of any good argument is understanding the research.
Trust me, if you skip this step, you'll be starting on a back foot and your child will have the upper hand.
Research can include jumping on the internet or having a good old think about family history.
Next, over the space of a few weeks, drop bits of research which support your argument into your interactions.
Obviously, this is easier with older children as they usually have a great grasp of English, but with young kids you can be quite creative and still make this effective.
With young children you can 'act' out what you want to happen when playing with them or model any behaviours you want to see.
For example, if you're trying to convince your child hitting people is not a good idea -
Don't hit them, don't allow them to play 'hit' their toys together (& if you spot this happening you can always put their 'naughty toys' into timeout), but most importantly don't hit people yourselves. This includes any joke or pretend hitting because young children are not developmentally aware enough to know this is a joke.
Or if you're trying to convince your older child that they need to do their homework -
You could randomly drop into conversations that famous people they like did their homework, or in order to do the job they want to do they'll need English because if they want to make millions on YouTube they'll need to be able to read through their contract so that they don't get ripped off (& this example worked like a charm on my nephew who's 9).
Your argument has got to be relevant to them.
After a few weeks, you'll either be able to have an open and honest discussion with your child with them recounting all the reasons why they're going to do the very thing you want them to do or they'll have just magically started doing it.
It's crazy, but it works - EVERY SINGLE TIME.
OK, it work's every single time when all the ducks are in a row.
There are two reasons why it fails;
Over the years this has been a common theme with the children I've worked with and why I created a masterclass dedicated to helping you as parents raise your teenagers self-esteem so that they can truly start to enjoy life and look forward to a future full of fun, laughter and happiness.
Use the button below to instantly access the masterclass:
Have an amazing Wednesday & I'll be back tomorrow (over on katiewoodland.co.uk) with a great way to give yourself a little motivation boost when things are not going the way you planned
See you then x Kaite x