Being a mum or a dad is one of those things you dream of.
You imagine holding a baby in your arms, staring lovingly into its eyes and being full of so much warmth you think you’ll explode.
You watch them grow in your minds eye, enjoying each day, laughing, having fun, exploring the world.
You see them standing on the stage graduating top of their class with pure ambition in their eyes and know that they are going to make you proud.
Then the day comes when the baby you held so proudly in the hospital has decided to forgo sleep, try out for the Olympic cry-a-thon and smells so bad you’re pretty sure their insides are rotting, and you have no idea what to do about it.
Or maybe, they were great little babies, you were one of the lucky 1% who’s baby slept, ate and pooped on demand and fit neatly into your social schedule.
It was the toddler years that had you pulling out your hair, hiding out in the toilet for some semblance of peace and drowning your sorrows every night with a bottle of rose and a tub of ice cream.
Or you were sooo unbelievably lucky that these tempestuous times passed you by full of giggles, hugs and melt-your heart warmth.
It was when they hit 7 and all hell broke loose. They were lying non-stop, fighting with their siblings and flat out refusing to do any semblance of homework, not caring that it’s you who gets hauled in front of the headteacher and having to put up with the shame of having ‘that child’…
Maybe, even this stage in your child’s development was exactly like all the TV commercials promised and every night they’d come home from school halo intact with yet another certificate of awesomeness for work, effort and being a superb human being.
It was when they hit puberty that they turned into this monster. You find yourself tiptoeing around the house not to set them off. Maybe every so often daring to catch a glimpse of this evil and vicious thing you can’t believe used to be so loving, kind and devoted to making you feel good.
You may have even had the worst luck of any and fought your way through every year and pray for the day they move out and you no longer feel the need to put extra hours in at work just to get out of being at home.
Here’s the thing.
Regardless of the pain, torment and sheer horror of what your child has turned into there is always hope.
One of the main reasons so many of my past parents have ended up in a pickle is due to what I like to call the 3 C’s – clarity, communication and consistency.
Clarity: If you are unclear in what you expect from your child, they get unbelievably confused. Even something as small as you expect them to sit with their legs off the sofa but you curl up with your feet under you can be hazardous in the long term.
Communication: Forgetting that your child (regardless of their age) relies heavily on you to coach, guide and support them to make the right decisions will undoubtedly lead to temper tantrums, slagging matches and broken door hinges. Regardless of what it is you need them to do, say it loud, say it clear and then no matter how hectic your schedule is check in to make sure they’ve done it!
Consistency: Whether you're raising a budding artist or the next PM your house needs to follow a consistent daily plan, have consistent rules and be consistently pointing out all the things they’ve done well, not just the things they're doing wrong…
Get these three things right & you’ll be well on your way to reinstating that halo which has slipped over the past few months.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly understand that sometimes, the things our kids are going through can’t simply be reversed by skillfully incorporating the 3 C’s.
Sometimes, there are things happening in their lives which would send any adult into a tailspin, let alone a child.
But this doesn’t mean, they can’t be safely guided back to a place where they feel safe, protected and peaceful. You just need a little more help to get them there.
Every month, we open up our calendar to support 5 parents through our parent training programme where we work 1-2-1 with you, the expert on your child, to become an expert in managing their social, emotional and behavioural needs so that you can be the one to safely guide them through anything and everything they're going through right now, and will come up against in the future.
Unlike most parent programmes, we teach you high-level psychological therapeutic techniques and help you truly understand why your child is reacting in the way that they are so that you can safely adapt any of your newly learned skills and support your child in the way that not only aligns with your values and belefs, but is truly centered on what they need to succeed.
But, because this programme is highly specialised and extremely intensive, it isn’t for everyone and we know that entering into something like this and it not working can be truly damaging for both the parents and the child. Through our simple application process, we make sure that if you need our help, we are going to be able to give you what you need.
To apply to be one of the 5 for next month use the link below:
I look forward to the possibility of helping you and your family regain the happy, healthy balance you once had.
See you right back here tomorrow for our entrepreneur blog post on: “How Entrepreneurs Start A Successful Business”
x Katie x
p.s., due to a client emergency yesterday, the business blog post didn’t go out as scheduled. You can however, catch up with the post “Why Mental Health First Aid Training Might Not Be The Best Fit For You & Your Business” over on the blog -