It really isn’t because you have failed as a parent.
I promise you haven’t done anything wrong.
They usually don’t know themselves - so how on earth could you know?
If you’re being truthful do you always know what you want?
I mean, how many times have you been out for a meal and just stared blankly at the menu, because you couldn’t work out what to eat?
Or, how many times have you stared at your wardrobe, tried a million things on, and then finally settled on some random combination of clothes because you’ve given up?
And, how often do you wake up feeling rubbish, wanting to stay in bed, and in no mood to talk or be civil to anyone?
It’s not a child thing, it’s a human thing.
There really isn’t anything you can do about this (and I’m sorry if I’m the only one brave enough to tell you this...)
It is, what it is.
What you need to do as a parent, is accept it.
As adults, we accept it when another adult is having a bad day, being indecisive, or wearing the strangest combination of clothes...
You just need to give your child a break.
In fact, give yourself a break, because not only are you trying to figure out what you want, you’re also trying to figure out what another human being wants, when they don’t even know themselves...
Phew, that was a difficult sentence and I appologise - but hopefully you got it!
So, while you have to deal with it, there are some things you can do to minimise the stress, overwhelm, and frustration of the everyday parenting, which will give you enough energy in the bank to cope, when nothing seems to be going right.
Now, the easiest way to overcome pretty much everything is by being organised and having a routine.
No, please bear with me.
I’m not talking about being one of those parents who always seems to have their life together and on a schedule, because you need a little bit of spontaneity.
But, you do need to have certain things set in stone (or as best as possible).
You need to have: a set waking up time, breakfast time, lunch-time, dinner time, homework time, amount of time watching TV, amount of time to play outside, bed time... all the these things enable your child to feel safe and relaxed, because they know what’s coming up next.
It also enables you to relax, because you won’t be worrying about the ‘million things you need to get done’.
You’ll simply know that they will get done.
It really isn’t just people with autism who like routine - we all do.
Imagine if all the time you’re spending stressing, worrying, arguing, and sulking, was now your free time.
How many hours have you just created in your life right now?
One? Two? Or even Three?
Now, just think about all the wonderful things you could do in that time.
Take a bath, read a book, watch TV, bake a cake, go for a walk...
Wouldn’t you much rather accept that children are just human and sometimes for all of us things are difficult to figure out?
I promise, getting into a routine will reduce the amount of time you’re spending being stressed out over your indecisive, moody or oddly dressed child.
Give it a go, and let me know how you get on, catch you soon - Katie.
P.S. I know some of you will be in need of a little more help, and this is why I launched the ‘great big parenting giveaway’. Parenting experts from the UK & USA have clubbed together to give you access to, free resources instantly and the opportunity for some lucky winners to receive; 1-2-1 coaching, child behaviour training, eCourses, dog behaviour training, and there’s even the chance for you to bag yourself a weekend away in a Yurt!
To access everything simply click the link below:
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You’ll need to do it quickly mind as it only runs until the 22nd Jan 2017 and it would be a shame to miss out!
Please Note: This post first appeared on the Huffington Post Blog